Turmoil Downtown Last Night

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GANG VIOLENCE IN CEDER-RIVERSIDE
-StarTribFeed – updated 06:45 June 6 2076

A neighborhood recently acquired by Evo-4M came under attack last night by organized assailants who Knight Errant is tentatively identifying as members of the “Skullbangers” gang of North Minneapolis. The attackers did a great deal of property damage and are said to have stolen commercial containers from riverside warehouses. Knight Errant spokesman Gerard Aumont released a statement that said that KE officers weren’t able to respond immediately due to ambiguities in their contractual agreement with the new corporate ownership.

Evo Security couldn’t be reached to explain Evo’s own delayed response to the incursion.

Maybe dey just ‘fraid of the ’Bangers’ big-Troll equipment! Boom! Same as the weak-ass roundtooth towel-heads. Hey, you want your Beetles back? Give y’all a special ‘little girl’ price. HA!
-BigBanger

You thing this is over, infidel abomination? This latest outrage is the last straw. Then you are as stupid as you are ugly. And Allah, may his name be praised, sees your sins. Its He that judges you. We are just the ones who carry out His Will.
-Ghazi

Turmoil Downtown Last Night

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