Second Guthrie Theft

Art on Loan Stolen from New Guthrie
-StarTribFeed – updated 13:32 April 14 2076

Last Night the New Guthrie Museum of Art was the victim of the second major burglary in as many months. A gang of thieves entered the museum by methods unknown and stole several major pieces of art on loan to the Guthrie from the NODE Gallery in Manhatten, thought to total somewhere in the area of 2 million dollars.

The robbery was discovered this morning when museum staff arrived to find the security staff unconscious and the works of art missing. They immediately alerted Knight Errant.

Knight Errant Security, speaking through the lead Detective, Det. Nathan Adler, has postulated that the items may have been stolen to order and may already been taken out of the country. “It seems very clear that this was a well-planned, highly-organized break-in. I am sure this job must have been planned for some time. Their knowledge of the museum’s security set-up was perfect. It is my belief that the pieces have been stolen to order for someone who has been identified as a potential market.”

The pieces, examples of the so-called ‘living art’ moment, included the pieces Starry Night, Perpetual Magic, Kaiju Kudzu, and Triffid, which have been featured on AmFeed Leisure’s popular ‘90 Seconds’ show.

StarTribFeed’s own legal correspondent, James Trepannier, a former Assistant Distract Attorney for Hennepin County, has provided information to the office of the current Hennepin County DA Carly Hughes, that has already led to the arrest or detaining of five individuals in connection to the robbery. Neither Knight Errant and the District Attorney’s office are releasing details of the individuals released.

Hey, who remembers that swimsuit spread that Hughes did for that veterinary hospital’s annual calendar sale back in ‘72? Man, I know people who still haven’t changed their calendars. That shot with the albino boa on December… I tell you, I wouldn’t mind her putting the handcuffs on me…

Anyone else curious as to who Trepannier fingered for the crime? Did he actually have info on people responsible, or is he just using it as an excuse to harass people who crossed him?

“Too long this city has been at the mercy of the lawless, those who pay no price and act without consequence. And this, the repeated desecration of one of one of our most beloved landmarks is only the latest and most public outrage. Well enough is enough. Its time we, the citizens, started standing side-by-side with our security forces and took our place in the war against the crime that keeps this from being a decent place to live!” Trepannier said in a statement delivered from the DA’s office this morning.

Hey, didn’t Hughes used to work for this bum before he got his butt fired for failing to nail a handsome, bad-ass Troll on some bogus racketeering charge? Must be a bitch having to take orders from his old assistant. Heh.

There has been no official comment as to whether this robbery has any connection to the theft of the Spoon and Cherry on March 12th. No arrests were ever made and the art piece was returned four days later, just as mysteriously as it had disappeared.

Anyone with information about the burglary should contact the joint information line set up by KES/Hennepin County and the SPPD at AmFeed: keyword: GuthrieTheft2.

Second Guthrie Theft

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